The month of April had a few showers… I had to part ways with my boo, my anxiety went through the roof and although I’ve been working my ass off, I never got a raise. I can’t lie, it had an affect on me. My attitude wasn’t always the best and I kept crying broke. But, it’s a new month and to be honest, I’m tired of feeling like this. I’m tired of being anxious, tired of feeling heartbroken and tired of feeling BROKE. So it’s time to make some changes.
And how do you make changes? By setting goals. I started writing down my goals in the beginning of the year and I am a firm believer that writing it down not only works, but manifests it into a reality. Some of the goals I have on my list so far are:
Become a mentor
Pay off a bill
Travel to visit an old friend
Relaunch website on birthday
Stop a cycle and not feel guilty
Redecorate bathroom
Pay off both credit cards
And so forth and so on. Now thankfully I have accomplished a good chunk but I have more! So I wrote those down too. Writing down your goals and seeing them often not only puts things into the atmosphere but it also reminds you to get shit done.
Want to lose weight? Write it down.
Want a new job? Write it down.
Ready to start that side hustle? Write it down.
For the month of May I have three really specific goals I want to accomplish:
Learn new tools to get my anxiety under control
Watch what’s being poured into me via social media
Be intentional about what I’m putting into the atmosphere
Now it’s one thing to write your goals down but another thing to actually put forth effort into making them a reality. So here’s how I plan on achieving mine.
Goal #1: Learn new tools to get my anxiety under control
As I mentioned in Anxious Auntie Chronicles, I’ve been a nervous little girl all my life. From things my family has poured into me to the stuff I’ve watched on television. I’m always on edge. Well now, I’m over it. I’m over feeling anxious and I’m over feeling overwhelmed. So it’s time to make some changes.
Change number one? Distancing myself from people and things that make me feel anxious until I learn the necessary tools to feel better. Harsh? Maybe. But it’s better than pretending like I’m okay knowing damn well I’m not.
Change number two? Ya girl finally found a therapist that I can actually afford and guess what? SHE’S BLACK! I haven’t physically seen her yet, but we’ve talked on the phone and I like her already. She’s even taken the time to read my blog (which I thought was nice). What’s crazy is, I literally wrote this goal down a week ago and I already have my first appointment scheduled. See what can happen when you put things into the atmosphere? They literally start to manifest.
Goal #2: Watch what’s being poured into me via social media
All up and down my timeline there are people doing stuff that I truly do not care about. I don’t care that Offset has yet another warrant for his arrest. I don’t care that Tristan Thompson obviously doesn’t like Khloe. And I damn sure don’t care that Flat Tummy Tea has a sale. After realizing that majority of the stuff on my timeline is bullshit it had me thinking, why am I keeping up with this? It’s doing nothing for my mental, nothing for my pockets, and nothing for my well-being.
So I’m over it.
I’m over these things being unintentionally poured into me. I’m over scrolling down the gram wasting valuable time. I want to be more intentional. I’m not saying fuck social media. I think if used properly it can definitely be an outlet and you could even make some coins from it. But the whole keeping up with the Jones’ thing is what I’m not messing with.
So change number one? Pay close attention to what I keep up with. Less @Shaderoom and more @MaryamHasnaa (if you’re looking for some good ol’ pour into my cup content, follow sis)! Less looking at people’s pictures and judging them and more sending love and positive vibes their way. Again, there’s nothing wrong with social media, but at the end of the day these surface level accounts can’t help me when I’m going through. It’s time I stop investing so much into them when they’re literally investing nothing in me.
Change number two? I bought a book! Now I ain’t gon’ stunt, I usually do not be reading! Sometimes reading makes me sleepy and next thing you know, the book is my pillow. But at this point, I’m desperate! Desperate to get my mind together. The book I purchased is called Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers. In the book Meyers helps readers change their lives by improving their thoughts, something I am really working towards. Yeah the @Shaderoom is cool, but they ain’t dropping these kinda gems! So a book it is!
Goal #3: Be intentional about what I put into the atmosphere
I can be very expressive at times. If I’m sad, I’ll say it. If I’m anxious, I’ll say it. If I’m broke, I’ll say it. And although I love the honesty, like I said earlier, you can manifest things. Both good and bad. If I’m steady saying I’m broke, I may have just talked my next financial blessing away. If I keep saying I’m anxious, I’m going to stay anxious and maybe even become more anxious (and I got zero time for that). So it’s time to reprogram my brain. As my good friend Jeff The MC recently told me, you can literally reprogram your brain to think how you want. And he’s right. I can tell myself positive things and it will change my mindset overtime…
So recently, I’ve added more post-it’s to my home (I love me some post-its). On my bathroom mirror are affirmations I say every morning before leaving out. To keep up with it, I say them while brushing my teeth...
God please let me feel your presence today
God please let me think like you
God please walk with me today
I CAN reprogram how I think - it just takes time
If it feels forced I DON’T have to do it
Nothing or no one will EVER come before my mental health again
It’s nothing wrong with being alone - embrace it
You gotta take care of YOU before you can take care of anyone else
It’s a process
Heartbreak happens - you’ll be okay
It’s okay to be alone
You will NOT always feel like this
It’s okay to be emotional
Don’t feel bad for putting Jalyssa first
Trust your gut
It takes 21 days to change a habit - stick with it
God is taking care of you - trust Him
Now I’ve only been doing this for a few days, but I already feel lighter. My head doesn’t feel as heavy. I am literally pouring positivity into myself before I leave and step into the crazy world. I even catch myself repeating some of these affirmations when I’m going through my day.
When I randomly think about how someone hurt me, I’ll say “God please let me think like you.” When I truly don’t want to do something, I’ll remember “if it feels forced, I DON’T have to do it.” If I start feeling lonely and wanting a boytoy around, I’ll remember that I actually love my space and it’s okay to be alone (then I plug up my plastic).
I say all this to say, what you pour into yourself truly matters! If you have been struggling with something for a while… whether it’s finances, your job, or family drama, speak it into existence that things will work out. Get you some post-its and place them around your home. Pick a quote that really speaks to you and make it the background on your phone. Do whatever you have to do to make YOU feel better. Aren’t you tired of complaining? Shiddd, I know I am. So I’m trying this. (Plus it’s cheaper than having to get a lawyer because you put hands on somebody for pissing you off on the wrong day at the right time).
So, that’s what I’m on. For the rest of the month I want to be very intentional with my goals:
I will be consistent and see my therapist
I will watch what media I let pour into me
I will be intentional about what I put into the atmosphere
I will get a higher income
And I will get my anxiety under control
But as always, I’d love an accountability partner! Ask yourself... What are you truly tired of complaining about? What are 3 things you want to work on this month? Let me know in the comments. Let’s pour into each other’s cups. Yes, April included a lot of showers… but here in May, we will get our flowers.
Period.